wheels coming off?

feeling way random; too much concentration; not enough sleep

intense; leaps of insight; the urge to create;

just not the constancy required to study facts and techniques for exams next week.

while i am still feeling lucid and expressive (as well as sufficiently self-analytical) I am a little worried. I have been trying to study tonight; but find myself lacking energy and easily distracted.

insights with regard to texts scare me.

I was picking up S. from J's parents after dinner. During the Bible reading, a small comment was made on a sermon that related to the passage, and I had this crazy inference into the passage, that I have never heard from anyone else. It was an understanding that the crucified body of Jesus was post-transfiguration; i.e. that the body that was punished on the cross was different to ours in some key respects.

These 'insights' seem unrelated to the time I spend in prayer or Bible reading - none @ present (except for a children's Bible with S) - or even thinking about spirituality. I don't call them 'spiritual' anymore, although they caused spiritual problems; thinking I was called to be a preacher.

But these insights normally coincide with writing just flowing from me, all kinds of crazy ideas, intense emotions and unfocused energy, but little actual accomplishment [the writing excepted]. Not what I need right now.

At times like this I identify strongly with the character Golan Trevize from Isaac Asimov's Foundation Series; primarily the 4th book: Foundation's Edge. He is described as having the "uncanny ability to reach right conclusions from what would seem to be insufficient data." (p. 244)

Times I have felt like this before, I have had incredible views into other people's feelings and the reasons for their behaviours [an extreme form of empathy] as well as making tenuous connections between different artists and modes of expression; all of which is later confirmed.

I guess just a way of seeing connections and being sensitive to different emotions and effects evoked through expression and behaviour.

Good times; when I don't have things to do. Hope the SAMe kicks in [forgot to take it this morning - how surprising the day didn't go as well] soon.