too much drama

hard to believe its been almost a month since my last post

life is crazy.

right now i am on a high... i wonder if i would be on a permanent high if it wasn't for my 'relationship'/'marriage'/co-habitation

i often think the best thing for me with all the shit i have to deal with, would be to step out of this... all the bipolar crap... but there is a little girl involved, who i love being able to spend time with each day...

this is pretty much given to be a crap post that i'll regret later... but i need to put something up so you all know i haven't vanished (or killed myself - post for another day)

i've been thinking about fidelity and adultery and all things in between... how to stay faithful to a situation where the only thing left is the vows sworn... fortunately there aren't any immediate temptations... but half the time girls i meet are either nice and sweet, but then they find out i'm married and back off, the other half know i'm married and don't care... for some reason the ones in the first category are the ones i like...

i think if i was ever to be 'unfaithful' it would be a case of total chemistry... i.e. i would know as soon as i met them... i can't see there ever being anyone who is a friend who i would just 'fall into bed' with etc... fortunately for my relationship i'm way picky (i've just spent 10 minutes deconstructing the attractiveness of an assortment of celebrities dressed and made up at various events) so it would have to be something instantaneous... otherwise it would just be that i was majorly P.O'd and using some poor girl for sex... either way i would know... and it wouldn't be a friend... if i were to cheat... noone would know but me. i'm sneaky like that

i'll deconstruct/edit/delete/expand this post later... for now, peace to the professor: our lives are just a constant case of 'going through it', keep your head up